Today I cried for my friends because their hearts were broken. I could feel their pain, see their grief and I knew the place they were in. I knew only because I was there in that place 6 years before and just 2 years earlier. No, I am not them and they will need to figure out what they need to do to care for themselves through this time. Situations, personalities, events and lives my differ but human pain of loss is the same though we all may handle it differently. My thoughts would rush back and forth in present time then to my mom's funeral. Losing someone can rip you up and take you on an endless roller coaster ride. Then when you are sure that you will never get off... all of a sudden the ride starts to slow down as though you are riding in a car and gentle places you near a curb right near where you started. Yet you are changed. You are not the same person you were before you started but better from when you were on the ride.
I went to the funeral. When you are there and seeing them hurt you want so much to have the right words and do the right things to help them heal and yet I could come up with nothing to say and nothing to do that would help. We tend to say and do the same things others have done and said to us even when they really never worked for us either. I think that is because none of us really want to think about our lives ending or that of our families lives ending unless you have had to at some point in your life forcefully dealt with the loss of a loved one. To my friends I just want to say that you are your fathers/grandfathers legacy and to live your life full of purpose, truth and love will only make your fathers/grandfathers live on through you. We have no control over life and death only God in his wisdom can give those answers when its your turn to meet him but for now live the life that God has designed for you. Let God lead you and guide you to dream again (God like dreams) and let that passion pour out of you. This is how you honor your loved ones and this is how you honor God. My prayers are with you and your family.
I firmly believe that there is purpose and inspiration in life at every corner and this funeral was no exception. I was inspired by a man I only met for a short time but I feel I have known for years because of his daughter. When I met Fred I was amazed at his life. He led a good life. He had the american dream his wife, kids and house. He lived well and like riding motorcycles. Though ALS took away a lot of his independents it didn't take away his will and sence of adventure. He could have ended his life long before now but he kept going. I am sure that there were those days where he considered it because he would not have been human if he hadn't. Instead he knew what he wanted and what made him happy. I walked around his large garden on his property and saw purpose, inspiration, creativity and life everywhere we walked. He did it with the help of his children and grandchildren but it was him that inspired such beauty. Can you imagine a man that most would feel bad for when passed on the street bringing such life and purpose? I think the thing I loved most about him was that after he made this most beautiful garden he took time each day to enjoy the fruits of his labor. The picture in which the family used of him was him sitting in his wheelchair with the shutters open looking out over this sea of beauty and I could only think of God in the book of Genesis where on the seventh day he rested. Fred I am glad you are at full rest now and thank you for your inspiration. Every time I think I can't do something I will think of you and pursue it with more passion.
